


Let's Give Them Somethin' To Talk About

by caramelle



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Teacher Bellamy, Teacher Clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelle/pseuds/caramelle
Summary: “We're not gonna be that annoying couple that completely cease to function normally the second they’re apart," he says decisively. "We're going to be perfectly functional, independent individuals."She nods, her impressively straight face betrayed only by the mischievous glint in her eye. "Right. So should we start sawing our hips apart tonight, or do we wait till first day of term, or—""Cute," he says, before planting a smacking kiss on her lips.Or, the one where Bellamy gets a new job, and all his co-workers think he's having an affair with the art teacher.





	Let's Give Them Somethin' To Talk About

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twilightstargazer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightstargazer/gifts).



> based on this [tumblr post](http://celestialhijabi.tumblr.com/post/169672118323/lawlu-minssery-ask-bot-whats-the-most) sent to me two months ago by Nai (which i strongly recommend reading bcos it's hilarious)
> 
> full disclosure before you begin: i've been extra busy lately so this isn't nearly as Polished as i usually like, but if i don't post it now honestly i don't think i'll ever get to it so consider this my gentle request to please pretend you don't see any errors or inconsistencies lmao
> 
>  
> 
> (title from the bonnie raitt song)

 

 

 

When Bellamy officially joins the teaching staff of Ark High, the first thing he does is make a plan.

 

"So just to sum it all up: no PDA on school grounds. No PDA during school hours. No PDA in front of either students or teachers.” He looks at Clarke expectantly.

 

She raises a brow. “Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to write this down?”

 

“We're not gonna be _that_ annoying couple that completely cease to function normally the second they’re apart," he continues decisively, ignoring her. "We're going to be perfectly functional, independent individuals."

 

She nods, her impressively straight face betrayed only by the mischievous glint in her eye. "Right. So should we start sawing our hips apart tonight, or do we wait till first day of term, or—"

 

"Cute," he says, snagging her by the waist to plant a smacking kiss on her lips.

 

"Seriously though," Clarke says, smiling despite herself, "is this _really_ necessary? I feel like I should inform you that no one's going to care all that much."

 

"Better safe than sorry," he reasons, tugging restlessly at the hem of her shirt. "Besides, I think it'll just be a lot less uncomfortable for everyone if they're not afraid of us jumping each other in the break room."

 

"Afraid of _what_? Why would—" Clarke breaks off, eyes widening. "Aww, babe. You're _nervous_ about this!"

 

"What," he scoffs, stepping back from her. "No, I'm not." He hangs there awkwardly while she grins at him. "Shut up."

 

The thing is, he actually _is_ nervous about this. He and Clarke have been there for each other every step of the way since they met in college, challenging and cheering each other on to graduation and earning their teachers' licences and everything else in between. The plan was never really to work at the exact same place, but when Mecha High was bought over by the mayor's office with plans to reform it into a private education institution, Bellamy found himself left with no other choice but to apply to Ark instead. Thankfully, they'd recently sustained a couple of losses to their teaching staff roster. Principal Jaha practically tripped over himself in his eagerness to secure Bellamy for a position in their history department.

 

Even though Ark technically _is_ a better school than Mecha when it comes to funding, grades, extracurriculars and just about everything else, the higher educational standards aren't exactly the number one concern on his list. Objectively, he knows that he's a good teacher. Nevertheless, he can't help but wonder if he's hurting things somehow by choosing to work at the same place as his _wife._

 

It really doesn’t sound that bad, but they’ve only been married six months. They’re technically still newlyweds, and Bellamy knows all too well how sickening it can be to have to watch _that,_ especially in one’s _workplace._

 

"Just relax," Clarke says, a hand on each arm as she rubs in a comforting up-and-down motion. "We're both professionals, right? It'll be _fine._ "

 

 

* * *

 

 

Fast forward six weeks, and it most definitely _isn't_ fine. (Turns out first day of school jitters aren't just for students. Who knew, right?)

 

"I said to relax," Clarke says at a stop light, glancing at him from the passenger seat. "That's not relaxed."

 

"Don't use your teacher voice on me," he says, even if only to divert attention from his relentlessly bouncing knee.

 

"Don't bring up my teacher voice to divert attention from yourself," she says, still in her teacher voice. She huffs a small laugh, and slides her fingers into his hair, massaging lightly at the knots in his neck. "Seriously, babe. We're both professionals. It's going to be okay."

 

"Easy for _you_ to say," he says, leaning into the comfort of her touch despite his petulant tone. "You've been there a whole year. Everybody already likes you."

 

She shoots him a dry, amused look. "The kids in the sandbox play nice, I promise."

 

To his utter _un_ surprise, she's absolutely right.

 

The other teachers are nothing but welcoming, except for Echo, who walks around with this expression like she's perpetually just smelled something particularly rank. He clicks straight away with Miller (English Literature and Drama) and Harper (gym), and he only manages to exchange a few words with Raven and Monty (physics), because they get dragged away literally mid-sentence by a lanky, bright-eyed man with a shaggy mop of hair (who turns out to be the chemistry teacher) for some _'urgent scientific conferral on uhhh some science-y experimentation that’s like super important for science'._ He merely smiles and nods, figuring it’s probably best to avoid busting his colleagues for anything illegal on his first day.

 

The students themselves are a little less livelier than his Mecha kids, but they work hard and pay attention, so he's not too worried. He'll have plenty of time to coax them out of their shell.

 

Throughout the day, Clarke dutifully sticks to her promise to refrain from interacting with him or hovering at his side. She checks up on him with little glances exchanged across the teachers' lounge and a couple of inspirational memes and dog photos texted to his phone in between sixth and seventh period, but other than that, he feels that he's successfully achieved and maintained a sense of individual, independent function.

 

“I think we’ll really be able to do this,” he says as they stop on their way home to pick up Thai for dinner. “Like, I don’t think working together is gonna be a shitshow at all.”

 

“ _So_ romantic,” Clarke deadpans. “It’s like I’m falling in love all over again.”

 

“Shut up,” he says easily, throwing his arm around her neck to nuzzle into her hair. _Christ._ It’s only been about nine hours, but he’s really missed doing that.

 

“So, this whole no-PDA-on-school-grounds thing,” she says, reaching up to grab at his hand where it’s dangling over her shoulder. “You think you can keep it up?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” he says, lacing his fingers through hers. “No problem.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Bellamy,” Harper says during lunch one day, “what’s your stance on Tinder?”

 

He blinks, his fork midway to his mouth. “Oh. Uh. It’s… it’s an app, I guess.”

 

Raven huffs, in a way that he’s quickly come to learn only _appears_ impatient. “Like, do you _like_ it?”

 

“I… don’t know?” he says truthfully. He’s been with Clarke since sophomore year of college, a good few years before Tinder and mobile dating apps became a thing. (Although, he’ll readily confess a deep gratitude that he’d found Clarke before any of that had happened. Having heard plenty of horror stories both from friends and strangers online, he’s genuinely not sure how he would be able to handle the pressures and stresses of modern dating for himself.)

 

Raven frowns sharply, and Harper looks confused, but Miller nods sagely. “Right. Grindr?”

 

“What? _No.”_ He lowers his fork, waving his other hand frantically. “I mean, not that I don’t— I mean, I _would,_ I don't discriminate like that, it’s just that I’m—”

 

“Old-school?” Raven asks, pointing her fork at him. “You look like the type. What, Match.com?”

 

“OKCupid,” Harper chimes in.

 

“Christian Mingle,” Miller suggests.

 

“I’m _married!”_ Bellamy leans back, surprised to find himself on the verge of panting. “Uh, I— I’m married.”

 

A series of groans echoes around the table.

 

“Not _again,”_ Harper laments, one hand digging into her back pocket to fish out a neatly folded ten-dollar bill.

 

“You checked,” Raven accuses, tossing a crumpled note of her own in Miller’s direction.

 

“Swear to God I didn’t,” Miller says, taking the money with a shit-eating grin. “Check my browser history if you like.”

 

“Jasper says he’ll collect his winnings from Monty and Zoe,” Harper says, phone already in her hand and thumbs skidding across the screen. She looks up, frowning. “Jasper was right. _Jasper_ was right, and I wasn’t. How is that possible?”

 

“Why the fuck did you have to get _married,_ ” Raven demands.

 

He looks at Miller, who seems far too content to let things play out now that he’s collected his money. “Uh, what’s going on?”

 

“Just a little game we play to keep things interesting round here,” Miller explains breezily. “Guess the newbie’s relationship status. We all get the first day to feel you out, and then we place our bets on day two, before first period.” He leans in closer, faking a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t worry about Reyes, she’s just mad at you because she had her money on serious relationship.”  

 

“ _You_ had your money on serious relationship, asshole,” Raven corrects irritably. “And then you went and fuckin’ changed your bet two minutes before deadline.”

 

“This is the last time I play this game,” Harper grumbles good-naturedly. “I’ve been losing money ever since we found out Clarke’s married.”

 

He practically chokes on a mouthful of roast chicken.

 

“What,” he gets out after somehow managing to avoid spitting half-chewed food out onto the table.

 

“Clarke Griffin,” Miller supplies. “She teaches art. Have you not met her yet?”

 

Bellamy swallows, and summons up his vaguest, most non-committal expression ever before bobbing his head in no real direction.

 

Thankfully, no one seems to care about his non-answer all that much. Harper slumps down, her chin propped in her hand. “I think she broke my radar. Ever since she got here I’ve been guessing everyone wrong.”

 

“To be fair,” Miller chimes in, “nobody really guessed Jackson was single, either.”

 

“Guy just seems so _needy,_ ” Raven agrees, shoving a fry into her mouth. “Seriously, he’d propose to anyone who so much as offered him a mint.” She glances at Bellamy, catching him exhale heavily behind his fork. “You good, dude?”

 

“Yeah,” he says, feeling significantly relieved at the revelation that he apparently _doesn’t_ come off as ‘needy’. “Yeah, I’m good.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, babe.” Clarke looks up when he enters the empty art room. “I’m just about done.”

 

“I gave you twenty whole minutes after you said you’d be done,” Bellamy says, sauntering up to her desk. Technically, he could have gone home to hang out while she conducted the weekly art club meeting, but he decided he was better off putting extra hours to good use, going over his lesson plans for the rest of the semester and updating them to better suit his students’ aptitudes and progress.

 

She grins, closing up a box of paints and turning to put them away. “Madi wanted to get my opinion on a submission she’s working on for a contest.”

 

He pauses, glancing around. “Oh. Everything okay?”

 

She laughs, rolling her eyes. “It's way past five, babe. Everyone’s long gone now. Don’t worry, your illicit affair with the art teacher is safe from prying eyes.”

 

“Ha, ha,” he says, grinning despite himself. “Ready to go?”

 

 

* * *

 

**Jasper created the chat ‘GUYS WTFFFF’**

 

**Jasper added 4 others**

 

**[Jasper]**

GUYS

 

WTFFFFFF

 

**[Raven]**

we already have a teachers chat why do we need another teachers chat

 

**[Monty]**

Jasper I told you you’re probably overreacting

 

**[Harper]**

The answer is no jasper, we’re not investing in your revolutionary new strain of marijuana

 

**Miller left the chat ‘GUYS WTFFFF’**

 

**Jasper added Miller to the chat ‘GUYS WTFFFF’**

 

**[Jasper]**

NO W8 U GUYS JUST

 

I THOT U SAID THE NEW HISTORY TEACHER WAS MARRIED??????

 

**[Harper]**

He is? And???

 

**[Monty]**

Jasper you’RE OVERREACTING

 

**[Raven]**

the fuck is goin on

 

**Miller left the chat ‘GUYS WTFFFF’**

 

**Jasper added Miller to the chat ‘GUYS WTFFFF’**

 

**[Jasper]**

MILLER WILL U JUTS HANG ON FOR ONE (1) SECOND

 

**[Miller]**

Fine. But i won’t Like it

 

**[Raven]**

jordan just spit it out alr

 

**[Jasper]**

OK so monty & i were hangin back to use the lab to run some….. casual experiments

 

**[Harper]**

“Casual”

 

**[Jasper]**

AND

 

**[Monty]**

This is really honestly probably not that big a deal guys

 

**[Jasper]**

WE FINSIHED UP AND WRE HEADIN TO THE PARKIN LOTS

 

BCOZ WE NEEDED TO GET OUR CAR

 

TO LIKE GET HMOE

 

**[Miller]**

No news can possibly be worth this

 

**[Jasper]**

AND

 

SHTU UP MILELR

 

AND THEN

 

WE SAW THE NEW GUY

 

WITH CLARKE

 

IN THE PARKIN LOT

 

**[Raven]**

so they both have cars. so what

 

**[Monty]**

Ummmmm

 

**[Jasper]**

AND

 

THEY WERE

 

HOLDIN HANDS!!!!!!!!!!

 

**[Raven]**

…… whAT

 

**[Harper]**

With each other???

 

**[Monty]**

Guys there’s probably a million reasons to explain this

 

**[Jasper]**

AND THEN

 

THEY BOTH GOT IN HER CAR

 

AND DROVE OFF TGT ALL HANKY PANKY

 

**[Raven]**

jasper for the last time that’s not how you use “hanky panky” but hoLY SHIT

 

**[Raven]**

altho come to think of it im pretty sure i spotted them makin googly eyes at each other across the break room on monday……..

 

**[Jasper]**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**[Monty]**

ONCE AGAIN let’s all just keep in mind that we don’t know FOR SURE what it means!!

 

**[Harper]**

*wide-eyed emoji*

 

**[Miller]**

Huh. I guess they HAVE met.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It takes about two days for Bellamy to start feeling like he could really fit in at Ark High.

 

It takes a third for him to decide maybe not.

 

The first two days went great for him. He found himself getting along well with everybody (although maybe not Echo or the vice-principal, Marcus Kane). He likes his students, and they seem to not hate him.

 

But then all of a sudden, it’s like an invisible switch flips, and he starts getting the strangest feeling that the welcoming atmosphere he’d so enjoyed his first two days has just dissolved into thin air.

 

He tries to join in on a conversation with Miller and Raven about organising field trips, but to his surprise, the conversation seems to takes a sharp swerve into awkward territory the second he does, quickly petering out into a stilted silence before they both make flimsy excuses and disappear.

 

He spots Jasper Jordan and Monty Green in the hallway between third and fourth period, huddled against the wall, peering at a tablet and a laptop. He approaches them, wanting to say hi and put in some face time with the two science teachers who often spend lunch off working on their own rather than hanging out with the rest of the staff. For reasons unbeknownst to him, the second they spot him heading towards them, they practically jump a couple inches into the air, spin right around on their heels and take off in the other direction, bumping limbs and devices several times in the process.

 

Lunchtime is somehow even more awkward than all of the above. He joins a table with Raven, Miller and Harper, but once again, the conversation dies down quicker than he can say ‘Watergate’. (Miller pulls out a book he ‘really needs to finish by today’, Raven produces a sheaf of completed pop quizzes and is wholly absorbed in grading them, and Harper backs away from the table altogether, clutching her half-eaten burrito in one hand and spouting something about needing to ‘rearrange the, ah, dodgeball equipment’ — which, as far as he can recall, is just a giant storage cage of red-orange balls.)

 

Aside from that, he can’t shake the feeling that people are staring at him whenever he walks into the teachers’ lounge.

 

“I mean, have they ever done anything like that with you?” he demands as they walk through their front door, hanging up jackets and toeing off shoes.

 

“Not that I can recall,” she says, frowning with concentration. “I mean, there was this one time Raven, Monty and I had that disagreement on budget restrictions between the arts and science departments, but it wasn’t like we stopped being friends or anything.”

 

He stops in his tracks, a horrified realisation dawning on him.

 

“I did something,” he concludes, staring at her. “I did something to piss them all off, and now they hate me.”

 

“What?” Clarke scoffs. “No you didn’t.”

 

“I did,” he insists, following her into the kitchen. “I’m the new kid in school. I don’t know all the rules yet. I committed a severe social faux pas in my ignorance, and now the cool kids hate me.”

 

She turns to look at him over her shoulder, one brow raised. “Hey, you ever think we spend a little _too_ much time with teenagers?”

 

“I’m serious, Clarke,” he says, automatically taking the glass of water she hands him. “Have I just fucked up my entire school year?”

 

Clarke sets her own glass of water aside, reaching out to take his face in her hand and his free hand with the other. “I _seriously_ doubt that,” she says, doing a sincerely great job of suspending her amusement to address his concerns. “Look, Raven and the others can be a tough crowd, but they’re not the Plastics, and you’re not Lindsay Lohan. I promise, _no one_ hates you.”

 

He sighs, and returns the peck she places on his lips with some relief. “Okay.”

 

“Okay?” Clarke asks, the smirk returning to her face. “Now can we start fixing dinner, or should we sit and talk about whether you have to choose between basketball and theatre?”

 

Rolling his eyes, he tugs her in by the hand and plants another kiss on her mouth. “All right, point taken. I’m ready to be a grown-up again.”

 

“Thank _God,_ ” she exclaims dramatically. “I was about to start cutting up your chicken into bite-size pieces for you.”

 

He prods at her side, even though he knows she’s not ticklish. “You mean the way I do for you with your carrots?”

 

“No one likes getting stuck gnawing on a giant chunk of carrot, Bellamy,” she snips, deliberately turning her back on him to pretend she’s getting the stove started. “It’s a scientific _fact.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

On Thursday, Clarke has to get back to school for a department heads meeting at three, so they grab a quick bite at a diner two blocks away before Bellamy drives her back to work.

 

“Remember to get yoghurt,” she reminds him as they pull up to the curb.

 

“I know, I know,” he says, putting the car in neutral. “I’ve gone grocery shopping before, Clarke.”

 

“And yet, you somehow always manage to forget my yoghurt,” she shoots back, but there’s no heat to it. Undoing her seatbelt, she turns to face him, one hand on the door handle. “And remember to get—”

 

“I’ll get your hot cocoa, princess,” he says, grinning as he leans in to kiss her. “I _know.”_

 

She returns the pressure of his lips readily, already smiling herself. “Okay, okay, I’m going. See you at home.”

 

“Text me if you decide you want a pick-up,” he calls after her. She waves and tosses one last smile over her shoulder before heading into school grounds.

 

The second she turns her back, he pulls out his phone. Opening up the list on his notes app, he quickly types in _‘yoghurt’_ and _‘hot cocoa’._

 

“I would’ve remembered anyway,” he mutters to himself, tucking his phone back into his pocket and putting the car back into drive.

 

 

* * *

 

**[Raven]**

you guys….. omg

 

i was otw back to school for our dept heads meeting

 

AND I SAW bellamy and clarke

 

he was dropping her off IN HER CAR

 

**[Jasper]**

OHMYGODOHYMOGDOHYMOGDSKHF

 

**[Raven]**

AND!!!!!!

 

before she got out

 

HE KISSED HER

 

**[Jasper]**

AKSJFJFHKSDHKFSJ

 

**[Harper]**

Omg wtfff

 

**[Monty]**

Ummmm okay so I guess we DO know what the hand holding means

 

**[Raven]**

it MEANS they’re CHEATERS, monty!!! they’re cheating on both their spouses!!!!!!!!!

 

**[Harper]**

Oh man… Ngl, I really thought better of them both

 

**[Jasper]**

:(

 

:(

 

:(((((((

 

**[Miller]**

… We have a department heads meeting???

 

 

* * *

 

 

Friday morning, Bellamy and Clarke pull into the parking lot at seven A.M. to see Harper standing by her car, a peculiar expression on her face as she watches them get out of theirs.

 

“Morning, Harper,” Clarke calls, but Harper just barely raises her arm to return the greeting with a small wave. Clarke turns back to the car, grabbing her bag from the backseat. “Okay, I really gotta run,” she says to him over the hood, already striding towards the main building. “See you after school.”

 

“See you,” he says with a grateful nod to her mindfulness. He knows she’d say _‘love you’_ if it wasn’t for their co-worker’s immediate presence.

 

“Hey, Harper,” he says as he grabs his own bag and locks the car. “Early start?”

 

Harper seems taken aback by his question. “Oh, yeah,” she says jerkily. “Early session with the track team. We—” She breaks off, blinking at him with an expression that reminds him vaguely of a hawk — kind of mad, kind of shocked, but not really for any real reason why. “I gotta go,” she rushes out suddenly, and charges away with her backpack slung over one shoulder.

 

 _Weird,_ he thinks to himself, starting on his own leisurely walk up to the school. He’s got a whole extra hour to kill, and a packed, still-warm sandwich in his bag that’s calling his name.

 

 

 

“Hey, Raven,” he says when the physics teacher enters the break room, her nose buried in her phone. “What’s up?”

 

Raven’s head whips up from her phone as if startled by the sound of his voice — and then her gaze narrows sharply on him, the device dropping to her side.

 

“‘What’s up’?” she echoes, stalking towards him. “‘What’s _up’_?!”

 

He pauses, setting his coffee mug down. “Uh—”

 

“You’ve got some fucking _nerve,_ dude,” she snaps, folding her arms. “Sitting here all casual, asking me _what’s up.”_

 

He frowns and pushes his chair back slowly. “Is something wrong?”

 

“ _You_ tell _me.”_ At his confused expression, Raven huffs exasperatedly, yanking her arms free. “Clarke is _married,_ okay? Look, you’re new here, so I don’t know what the fuck’s going on in _your_ life, but _she’s_ happily married, and you should be fucking ashamed of yourself for dragging her into your personal shit.”  

 

He blinks, half-paralysed with shock. “I— _what_ —”

 

Raven raises a single finger, pointing it directly at his face. _“Ashamed,”_ she repeats one last time, before turning on her heel and stalking right back out of the room.

 

He gapes after her for a full ten seconds, and then turns to stare at Monty, who’s been sitting quietly in the far corner of the room all this while. “What was _that_ about?!”

 

Monty closes his laptop and gathers it up, his expression pinched but slightly apologetic. “I like you, Bellamy. But I can’t, in good conscience, condone your actions.”

 

“ _What actions?!_ ” Bellamy bursts out, cheeks flushing.

 

Monty throws him a piercing look. “Think of your partner,” he says, standing from his chair. “Think of Clarke’s partner. How would they feel if they knew about you two?”

 

“Wait,” Bellamy splutters, the pieces falling into place in his head. “Hold on a sec. Do you guys actually _think_ we’re—”

 

But Monty shakes his head sharply. “We’re not _idiots,_ Bellamy. Anyone can see what you two are doing.”

 

He starts towards the door, and then stops and turns back. “I hope you both take a good, hard look at yourselves. Really think about if any of this is truly worth it.” And with that, he’s out the door.

 

“You’ve _gotta_ be kidding me,” Bellamy mutters to himself.

 

 

* * *

 

**[Bellamy]**

SOS. WE'VE BEEN BUSTED.

 

**[Clarke]**

???

 

**[Bellamy]**

Well. Sort of.

 

**[Clarke]**

we're either busted or we're not, how

can we have been "sort of" busted

 

**[Bellamy]**

Because all your friends apparently

have fucking terrible inferential skills

 

**[Clarke]**

oh so when they have "terrible

inferential skills" they're MY friends

 

**[Bellamy]**

They've been YOUR friends for LONGER

 

Oh my god. At least now I know why

they've all been weird the last couple days.

 

Well. Weird-ER.

 

**[Clarke]**

don't talk about my friends that way

 

… altho this does explain maya coming

up to me after 1st today to tell me i

should "really try to be more discreet"

if i'm going to "carry on like that"

 

**[Bellamy]**

CHRIST.

 

What the fuck do we do

now? Do we come clean??

 

… Is it bad that I just feel like laughing??!?!

 

**[Clarke]**

hmm.

 

... i've got an idea.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
The teacher's lounge is about as full as it can be by the time Bellamy gets there for lunch.

 

Taking a deep breath, he reminds himself of the plan, and then walks directly over to Clarke.

 

"Hey," he says, as loudly as he can without being obvious about it, but it really isn't necessary. A quick look out of the corner of his eye tells him he's already got the others' attention. Throughout the entire week, he's never so much as said a word directly to Clarke in front of them, _certainly_ not in the break room.

 

She looks up where she's standing at the coffeemaker, a smile lighting up her face. "Hey, you," she returns, a little more coquettishly than he's expecting. "How're you doing?"

 

He almost shakes his head at her theatrics, but he catches himself in time.

 

"Better now," he jokes, nudging his elbow against hers as he pretends to join her in fixing himself a cup of coffee. "Hey, last night was great, huh?"

 

Clarke giggles. _Giggles._ "Oh, definitely," she gushes, leaning her hip against the counter as she turns to face him. "I had no idea you could cook like that." She punctuates her sentence with flirty pass over his arm, her fingers lingering over the hard curve of his bicep with a deliberation that makes him want to burst out laughing.

 

"Oh, yeah," he says with a charming grin, shifting half a step closer to her so their faces are practically inches apart. "I've got all sorts of tricks up my sleeve."

 

"Oh, I'll bet," Clarke practically purrs, squeezing his bicep shamelessly. "Can't wait to find out just what kind of tricks you've got hiding under your—"

 

"Okay, I can't take this anymore," Raven announces, jumping out of her seat. "Are we all just gonna sit here and pretend we're okay with _watching_ this shit?"

 

"Raven," Harper says with a worried glance at the door. "Language."

 

"Nah, I'm sorry, she's right," Miller says, getting to his feet as well. "I mean, enough is fucking enough, dudes." He pauses, arms folded. "Pun intended."

 

" _Scarlet woman!_ " Jasper proclaims dramatically, pointing at Clarke. His finger swivels towards Bellamy, and then stops. He blinks, looking round at everyone else. "What's the colour for adulterous men?"

 

Monty hurries forward, waving both hands in an attempt at calming the tension. "Okay, _thank you,_ Jasper. Um, I think what we're all trying to say here is—"

 

"Don't tell me what I'm _trying_ to say, Monty!" Raven cuts in, cheeks red with fury. "You can all sit on your ass and act like this doesn't make you uncomfortable as fuck, but I'm not gonna just smile and pretend I don't see this shit happening right in front of my eyes, at my place of _work_ and in front of _hundreds_ of kids who look to _us_ to set an example for them, and _excuse me what the fuck are you two smiling about?!"_

 

Bellamy pulls his hand away from his mouth. "Nothing, I— you're a really good teacher, Raven."

 

"Thank you," Raven snaps, her face hard. "Any other final comments before I report your cheating ass to Jaha?"

 

"I'd rather you not do that, actually," Clarke says, her face impressively neutral.

 

Miller frowns. "Clarke, you don't have to defend this asshole—"

 

"I'm not," she says, one brow arched. "I just prefer it when my husband's gainfully employed."

 

After a few moments, the taut silence is broken by the loud click-and-buzz of the coffeemaker.

 

"Your husband," Raven repeats.

 

"Your wife?" Monty asks Bellamy.

 

He nods, running a hand down Clarke's back. "My wife."

 

Jasper makes a strangled noise that, oddly enough, immediately reminds Bellamy of the overexcited yelps dogs make when their owners return from army tours. (He's watched a lot of those compilation videos. Don't ask.)

 

Harper opens and closes her mouth. "So when you said you were married..."

 

"He meant to me," Clarke confirms, a small smile on her face.

 

Miller's brow furrows. "But… but your name is Griffin?"

 

“Women are perfectly free to keep the last names they were born with, Miller,” she says, shooting him a bemused look.

 

"What the fuck," Raven says, eyes darting from Clarke to Bellamy. "What the _fuck._ Why didn't you just fuckin' _say_ you were married?!"

 

Bellamy shrugs. "We weren't trying to _hide_ it from everyone or anything. We just didn't want to look like that workplace couple that can't survive two seconds on their own."

 

"Bellamy was nervous about his new job and worried you guys wouldn't like him," Clarke translates.

 

Monty gives him a funny look. "You thought talking to your _wife_ in front of us would make us not like you?"

 

Miller shakes his head. "I mean, dude. Not to burst your bubble or anything but… you teach _history._ We weren't gonna wanna hang out with you anyway."

 

"Cute," Bellamy says, crumpling up a stray sheet of filter paper and tossing it at him. His gaze swings to Raven. "But, uh, I hope you can all understand why we didn't want to broadcast this information right away."

 

Raven rolls her eyes. "Jeez. We're not your _kids,_ okay? You guys don't have to tiptoe around us like that." She pauses, considering them both. "But I'm glad I don't have to punch you both in the face for cheating on your partners."

 

"Me too," Clarke says, grinning up at him. Smiling, he wraps his arm around her waist and drops a quick kiss on her temple.

 

Raven pretends to gag. "But I _am_ going to have to punch you both in the face if you keep _that_ up," she warns, turning to slip back into her seat.

 

"Yeah, seriously, guys," Miller says as he turns away, nose scrunched. "Get a room."

 

"There are _kids_ around," Harper reminds them serenely.

 

"Maybe we need to come up with some rules," Monty muses, tapping on his chin. "No public displays of affection on school grounds? Or at least not during school hours, maybe."

 

Jasper's face falls. "Not even hugs?"

 

"The rule is for persons involved in _romantic_ relationships, Jasper," Raven says exasperatedly.

 

"I am in a romantic relationship with _life!"_

 

Bellamy frowns as they slip back into a loud, group-wide argument. He glances at Clarke. "Wait, so… that's it?"

 

She nods. "That's it."

 

"Oh, well." He shrugs. "Huh. If I'd known they were gonna get over it this fast, I would've just told them right off the bat."

 

"God, I know," she says dryly. "It's almost like someone should've warned you."

 

He grins, his face flushing with a warmth that's only a little bit made up of embarrassment. "Love you."

 

She rolls her eyes and grabs his hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "Love you too."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to share any thoughts/feelings via a kudos or a comment!
> 
> i'm also [on tumblr](http://ticogirls.tumblr.com)


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